She said her name was "party"
he kept kneeing me like he was playing footsies... only then i realized it was his dick.
I think my plan to not drink this week was just ruined by my mothers discovery of the chat function on facebook
Peed on my phone. Dried it out in oven. Technology is both a plus and a minus.
I'm beginning to think I'm sterile because I definitely should be pregnant by now.
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
A girl at the bar is wearing green body paint instead of a shirt. Where are you?!
Theres a 75% chance I'm wearing a hocky mask and nothing else right now
Ps I am
It was all going fine until I had to chug that strawberita bud light. That really ended badly.
Girl I love you like I've been drinking all day
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
It's astonishing how many Ludacris lyrics you know
I tried making my own red bull with crushed up caffeine pills, bubbley water and flintstones chewable vitamins. The ER doctor sead I'm lucky to be alive.
Randomize
