3 deer just ran past us on the street. At least I get to see some tail tonight
I'm drunk in f*****g wisconsin and want to kill myself.
If it's any consolation, be grateful that you're not in New Jersey.
my debutante medallion kept hitting his balls when i went down on him
I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
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i just lost my virginity over my 3 hour lunch break..
u hav a 3 hour lunch break?!
i like how the length of my lunch break is the thing that phases u
he just hooked up with some chick in a bedroom upstairs so I just went to sleep in the pantry closet...
At one point during xmas dinner my whole family was double fisting. It was like thats how I learned to drink moment
I woke up in a toga after going to a Hawaiian party. I don't even know.
There is a midget driving a powered tricycle around town. I am not drunk, stoned, or lying.
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I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
Ugh... The hoe gods giveth and the hoe gods taketh away.
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
So many questions...the two most important are, where the fuck is my booze and how did you even get the couch through the door?
just woke up and had to check if i still had pants on, i really need to stop drinking
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