Please tell me I didn't pass out while we were having sex last night... and if so I am sooooo sorry.
if there werent so many compromising pictures of me in the hands of so many liberal friends, id consider going into politics
did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
dude if i could bring that prime piece of meat home, id be the luckiest average-looking girl who ever lived
It's really too bad Cosmo doesn't have "What To Do When You've Drunkenly Sucked His Dick and He Doesn't Text You Back" article.
I woke up naked in my own vomit. Not even in my bed. No one is happy.
please promise me that no matter what happens you will keep me away from the children
Girl your like that last load of laundry... I'll do you eventually just not tonight.
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
I don't see how I managed to fuck up so much shit in an hour and a half..
She took one look at my hardon and said, "You have a dick built for anal."
That wasn't a compliment.
Which sister was it? The one I accidentally hit when my shoe flew off or the one I ate candy off of when we were high?
I’m really regretting these suede pants.
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
Randomize
