okay pat passed out under dana's car
yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
I'm heating up a hotdog using a candle.
The difference between what I would do for a regular Klondike bar and an Oreo flavored Klondike bar is astounding
I kinda wish he had even a slight idea of the sex I'm planning for his departure. I'm literally studying for it.
So I've decided to grow a vagina forest. Because I'm single and it's like a zen garden. Brings a new meaning to long hair don't care.
The only thing keeping me calm right now is pretending to chop off everyone's heads when using the paper cutter
I think that's the first time Navy dress blues and a Ninja Turtles onesie have been involved in the same makeout.
I will sleep with anyone I have to to make sure you don't get deported
He is 30 (that's 8 years older than I am) and uses more Emojis than I do. Problem?
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
I though he and I knew each other well enough that we could go to my hotel room to do a bunch of cocaine together without their being any homoerotic implications, but NOOOOOOOOO!
UPDATE: IM NOT A TEEN MOM LETS GO PARTY
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
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