yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
I don't call you at 3 in the morning to start a fucking relationship.
i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
The cab driver told me he hopes I look up to him as a father figure. Then he asked if I wanted him to take me to the hospital
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
3 guesses about who had to still-drunkenly facilitate a fire drill at 2:40am because freshmen can't handle microwave popcorn.
She kept sniffing my sweater and tried to guess what type of detergent I use.
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
He thought you were kidding about me peeing on my ex...and then I was like "that was one time"
Just saw a dude take a shot in the parking lot in his car. Too early in the semester for that
Herpes is not a lady problem you can solve with shower beers and kissing boys
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
i cant go to his party cause last time i pressed the red buttons on the wall and the fire alarm went off for 40 minutes, i'm not allowed back there
I kept yelling "BY ORDER OF THE PEAKY FUCKING BLINDERS" in a terrible brummie accent at everyone I saw wearing a flatcap.
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