tell your sister to shave her snatch
We named our saturday intramural dodgeball team "we're hungover". Pretty much just an excuse to fuel my alcoholism on friday nights.
I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
This girl told me she was a virgin the other day. I felt like I was talking to a unicorn.
I got a bikini wax for the first time today and I think I now understand feminism.
just tell her a well fed dog doesnt stray far from the porch, and if that doesnt work just keep fucking her sisters
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
It was like the perfect storm of bad decisions.
Looking at an apartment in Houston. It's right beside my favorite bar and the zoo. Best or worst decision?
Things I have learned since the start of my first college spring break: do not fart in an enclosed space (such as a shower stall) when hungover. You will throw up. More lessons to follow as week continues.
Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
Can cross "get fingered at a state park" off my bucket list
"Only you can prevent yeast infections."
I ordered more beers for everyone but had to finish them all. I promptly went outside and projectile vomited in the street. Three times.
Plus he probably didn't want to be at home, alone... Jacking off on the big screen without you there to lend a helping hand. I mean, let's be honest. It's not fun if it's not a little weird.
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