ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
my mouth smells like i just ate out a crab.
New swimming pool is best sex toy ever. We are pioneering the doggie-style paddle.
Just woke up bloody and clutching a rear view mirror I'm pretty sure is from my car. For those of you keeping score at home this is why I stopped drinking four loko.
I have too much respect and admiration for my dick to put it into a situation where he could possibly be killed
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
Most girls get hit on with a $7.00 drink. You get hit on with a $750K plane.
easter 2014 is on 4/20 THIS IS NOT A DRILL YOUR FAMILY WILL EXPECT YOU TO BE HOME AND SOBER I REPEAT THIS IS NOT A DRILL
I'm only bisexual one week out of the month. Nothing like ovulation hormones to make the genders of my hookups seem completely irrelevant.
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
He made her leave because she liked Top-Ramen better than Maruchaun. He's my hero.
Sorry 4 always trying to rope you into my sexual exploits
Sometimes I just take my boobs out of my shirt so they can get some fresh air
So I lost my dignity between the strip club and your penis...
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