I feel like our house is getting pulled over.
Just got a citation from campus security for an "accordion disturbance."
I was speaking french the whole night. Until i got arrested. Then I decided I should probably start speaking English.
I just told someone i was in "addition and subtraction 160".......and they believed me.
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
we were canoeing in the lake and i asked if he was too drunk for this, and he said "don't worry about it, i'm half native american"
At 4am he sent "uree asss ize anmazin"
we're almost there. Shes pounding on the car window telling the nurse whos on a smoke break to fuck off.
Saw a guy pass out and hit his head on a urinal. Laughing too hard to help him up
STD scares really help you understand the whole six degrees of separation thing...
It's kind of like, standing in a garage and pretending you're a car. Except you're naked.
if you didn' use the plastic sword on the cop. maybe this wouldn't have happened.
It was going alright when lo and behold Tom the cock blocking tornado hits. He is the only man I know who doesn't want anyone to fuck girls.
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
Randomize
