We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
I don't know whether I should be pissed that there's glitter in my bed or proud that there's semen in there too.
So after your 27th or so beer, you gave me songs you want to have used if you're ever on intervention.
Is waterboarding an exceptable way of getting sober?
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
I have no idea why I said that. I have no idea why anything happened last night, I broke my toaster making a egg. I'm going to quit drinking.
you did a full monologue with your sober self last night. different voices and everything.
Just saw a midget on a motorcycle. Best sight for a hangover ever.
Eight drinks in. Subject is fondling chips before eating them. Intoxicated texting has expanded from best friend to random guy I met in FBLA.
I think i was just meant to be a stripper. A ballerina stripper cat
He was so aggressive it felt like he was giving my boob a root cannal
Nothing says "Hello, Adulthood!" quite like receiving a dick photo at 11AM from a guy you haven't heard from since fifth grade.
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
Randomize
