i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
I wasn't sure if "you're even prettier in the dark" was a compliment. Hmm.
Seriously this night has "go home now before you cry, puke or scream on someone" written all over it.
You're telling me you've never sent a picture of your cock to a girl and then were all like "Oops, sorry, wrong person! By the way...You like?"
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
Glad to know I rate above a cabbage on the parenting scale.
This is the Taco Bell dump we've all been waiting for.
That makes 14 Xmas cards already! Middle aged people are really nice to their dealers.
I told you, she may have multiple personality disorder, but like in the most upbeat way possible.
HOLY SHIT. I JUST FOUND OUT THAT THE KARL/RORY BASEBALL FIGHT THAT RORY LOST WAS 2 YEARS AGO TODAY. RIP KARL'S DICK.
his first fb message to me in 3 years was "is your cock open for business?" im blocking him
If you gave someone an std. would you say a muffin basket, a candy gram or an edible arrangement is a better choice to send them?
sexting just seems like too much work right now.
I had sex while watching Lord of the Rings last night. I think I just reached a new level of nerd.
Randomize
