Like all of my pajamas are shirts of guys I shacked with in college
The only thing I've had to eat today was the half eaten sausage biscuit I found on my chest when I woke up this morning.
Just caught my bro jerking off to a lane Bryant catalog
please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
Hickey on my chest, threw out my elbow and now walking out my shame.
Youre getting too old for this
I feel like someone had their period in my eyes.
I'm sorry I got a little outta control last night.
We sang "Whole New World" in harmony and he spun me around. You may now barf from the cuteness.
It's called the eyeliner-blowjob correlation, read a science book bro
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh fuck, I messaged a Jack Kerouac poem to a girl I'm trying to sleep with last night at 4am.
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
I just took three of the most beautiful hits of my life. As elegant and smooth and delicate and graceful as figure skating
Jessica just ate her lipstick. That's how the night is going
I’m going to try to be less of a cryptic bitch this week. Should be nice.
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
Randomize