I fucked a guy named chris tucker last night
I think its a sure sign I need to get laid when every cloud in the sky looks like a penis.
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm just gonna go nail your roommate after we break up anyway.
I have bruises all over from falling so much last night, I even have bruises on my arms from them picking me up off the street.. Oh vodka nights.
how many lesbians have to have their hearts broken before they realise I am not that kind of DJ
I've started a list of places i want to drink. To go along with the list of places i want to have sex. Lincoln's log cabin is on both.
Whatever you didn't send me pics of you topless making bacon
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
The only times we have to apologize in this friendship is when you intentionally punch me and that's only happened once so it's okay
He is a sweet angel sent from dick heaven!
I would accept a super bowl ring as an engagement ring
i found you passed out on the floor with a half-eaten pie. i figured youd be the last person to care if i went and banged your sister
He said they were his favorite shoes.. So I threw one down the sewer. Now he'll keep searching the house for the other one. Sweet silent revenge.
Randomize