I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
He was so bad, he was dry humping me and his dick was nowhere close to my vagina.
He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
im probably shirtless right now with a bottle of jack watching horton hears a who. this is a judgement free zone.
It was honestly like he was directing a porno or something. he kept telling different people to grab other people's boobs, it was all very artistic.
well I already know I'm going to hell, at this point it's really go big or go home
Mandatory 420 Adventure Time.
This is why we're friends.
His car is rigged up like the cash cab how am i supposed to not sleep with him
Nothing says besties like laying naked in bed hungover arguing over who is getting the pants
He sent me a 2am email the just said "Ping". Nerdiest booty call ever.
literally took my pants off in the middle of bourbon last night without taking off my heels im a super human i guess
Look I'm really hungover so let's try this again. In 5 mins you're gonna call me and tell me that you're on your way with xannies, iced coffee and a back rub
I’m appalled by how severely I lower my standards when I’m horny & impaired
Once my new license was put into my hand, a light from the heavens shined down and pauly D's voice was in my mind saying ohh yeaaah 21 yeaaah
Randomize
