Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
My mom just told me that after i turned eight i stopped growing mentally and emotionally
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he designed a suit out of pillows to protect himself when he fell.
engineering majors are such efficient drunks.
I mean what are real friends for if they won't hold down your wedding dress to allow for a keg stand
Some guy stole lobsters by hiding them in his pants. We should strive to be like him.
We kept trying to bring you to the hospital but you had a tantrum and kept saying you would never be Miss America
I'm starting to think I didn't bring enough liquor for this family Christmas.
It's 2 pm....
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He's practically not my boyfriend anymore. So let's go get some glitter, balloons, alcohol and forget this night ever happened.
This summer has already been like the best summer ever. FREEDOM IS AWESOME. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND GOD BLESS THE SINGLE LIFE.
I feel worse lying to the guy I hooked up with than I actually do for cheating on my bf
He offered to dress his dick up as Charlie Chaplin to cheer me up.
Keep him.
It was like Lady and the Tramp, but just tramp and the tramp. And instead of spaghetti and meatballs, we had whiskey and cups
I went up to u at the bar, you grabbed my face and said, "hey you're Juan right?"
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