quit re-tweeting John McCain's tweets
Sitting at a red light. Windows are down. I'm blasting Gaga's "Disco Stick" and doing an interpretive dance to it because I think I'm hilarious. Look to the left and see two Phi Delts that I know with their windows down. They are horrified. I am probably going to lose their Facebook friendships.
tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
Also, that dude projectile vomiting all over the living room was the perfect distraction for me to swipe the booze and run.
my favorite homeless guy just told me I drive like Batman, achievement unlocked
Withdrawals are gods way of saying "you're still my bitch"
A drank guy in the ER just sang Trouble to me and when he sang 'Lying on the cold hard ground' he threw himself onto the ground and landed on the wrist he'd just broken. Thirsty Thursday is weird already and it's not even 5.
I need to pay that drinking in public ticket, but I also really want to get a spray tan next week... so priorities.
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
I made a nest in his bed. I'm not leaving
Man, it's really obvious that I was either handcuffed or tied up last night. Either way, not something you'd want coworkers knowing.
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
Dude I left his house at 5:30 a.m. after you peed on his front door and then tried to fight me for my blanket. Don't even do that at my house or I will end you.
hahahahaha. Worst. Text. Ever.
Randomize
