Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
Just lost my virginity while listening to rick astley. torn between horror and jubilation
It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
I told him I'd have sex with him for fried cheese. Does that make me a hooker or just fat?
I can't believe we had "50th anniversary of man in space" sex.
Too high to move please buy hi-c and pour it in my mouth in exchange I will marry your first born child
My liver is begging me not to go, but sadly enough for him my feet and hands control me getting there.
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
I think people like me is why alcohol became illegal at one point
We were in the middle of fucking and she was just like "Do ya wanna play Harry Potter Scene It?" I musta been really bad lol Anyways, her tattoo healed nicely.
I woke up with a bagel in my mouth, still ate it. Free breakfast
30-degree weather + Metal Cockring Monday = really hard to pee.
i can eat my weight in tater tots. don't test me, bitch
I think I may have fully transcended this spectrum of life. I can see beams of light man. Down to the photons
What
The only downside is I can't stop skipping
Randomize
