new level of vanity: sex dreams about deep throating myself...
then he pulled down his pants, and i just stared for about a minute..... i was so confused. i didnt know my cat could have a bigger penis than an 18 year old man.
he found you with your pants down, trying to straddle the urinal. no one should have to see their sister like that. ever.
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
I feel like I just gave a blowjob to a freight train.
Basically I don't wanna put on pants...but I'm stoked for drinking my face off tomorrow.
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
i chased my gummy vitamins with cold bacon, never say I don't take care of myself
I was lying I actually don't, I hope a reindeer shitted in her bed
I'm trying to watch Chicago PD and tell you I like your dick at the same time. It's a lot of work, ok?
Hungover. No words. Just memes.
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
You like pics of my balls that much?
I am at the store looking at frames as we text...
I need like a billion tiny bottles of alcohol to put in the patron pinatas
How do I tell my boss I have slutty fantasies about him, me and his conference room table?
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