Hey its bob the builder. Where did you go?
Just had to explain to the nurse WHERE I have poison ivy. Great Day
She just asked me if her C-section scar turned me on.
I'm in the grocery store cradling a box of wine like it's my firstborn, so of course this would be the first and only time I've ever seen my boss outside of the office.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He violated my cat. I was not impressed.
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
I think I'm a wingman for every guy who bangs a girl I scarred in highschool.
Young lesbians are the worst. And also what got me through high school, sooooo
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Worst way to find out I have a half sister
I'm only coming over if you have cocaine or a snickers bar
You think that was bad? One time my parents found my sister half naked on top of the four runner in the garage. She makes me look like the good child.
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
no dude he sent me cemetery flowers, i know it. they are half dried out roses in the shape of a cross, seriously. and he is not religious. so he robbed a freaking grave site for me. am i like an accessory to grave robbing now??
damnit this is what you get for dating guys with neck tattoos
I should never have to text my best friend asking if she eloped again last night.
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