You gave me the wrong number last night so I texted someone else something I definitely shouldn't have.
I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
So, Southern Comfort will donate 25 cents for every bottle sold towards Gulf Coast Relief... Can we save the wetlands through my alcoholism?
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Have you ever tried running while drinking 151?
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
Sitting on an airplane reeking of booze, sex and shame while surrounded by families coming home from Disney. This is not one of my finer moments.
That's the 3rd time in 6 months I woke up on the hallway floor using a towel as a blanket, no clue how I got there. At least back when I was still drinking I could blame something other than myself for that kind of shit.
You should go to AA meetings and warn people about the dangers of sobriety.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I hope you have irresponsible drunk insurance because you're about to pay a deductible
I apparently asked the bartender for a plastic bag and told her I was gunna puke then grabbed two handles from the bar then put the handles in the plastic bag and left.....
Where does drinking Flat, warm beer from two days ago rank of the No Fucks Given scale?
OK... But I need to shower first because I'm covered in stuff I definitely shouldn't have slept in
He fingerfucked me in the hot tub and then we had sex in the wine cellar. See thats why I like partying with rich people
Sitting in my junior high parking lot high on ambien talking to a stranger I met on tinder. What is life?
Randomize