I'm pounding a vodka drink as we speak to make her interesting
no, no I am DEF NOT pregnant. typo. sorry, wanted to talk about us...
was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
she keeps The Day After Pill in her bra... there is a God.
He's a firefighter, who has his own band. I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
Apparently Sundays are the worst days for your friends to get their head split open and need stitches...there's only 1 doctor on duty
As we're eating sushi she goes I just want to get a disease so my mom can take care of me... Great first date
That night just went downhill after you pissed yourself while sitting on my lap
I feel like I should throw some tampons around my workspace so everyone will know what's really going on
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
Give me an out of order sign and caution tape and we can have sex practically anywhere.
Can we go out and get blitzed in celebration that they'll be no more surprise kids
The last time the Patriots won the Super Bowl I lost my virginity. I can only imagine what'll happen if they win this year.
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
Randomize
