i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
I wish I only lived at night.
if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
Is it wrong that I didn't stop masterbating when the credit card company called?
did you answer or finish?
both
Awesome, the library of congress archived all tweets. Now my great great grandchildren can pinpoint the date they inherited alcoholism.
he said the way to his heart was through his stomach, i told him if he wanted to eat my food he had to eat my kitty
smooth operator
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
If I ever die and svu has to come to my murder scene make sure they know I don't wear underwear always so it might not be as bad as they think
I'm in the freezer. Shit took away any trace of hangover outa my body.
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
Banged my ex-wife last night...so I belong to that club now.
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
You were laying in a hotel bed drinking beer from a straw while you demanded everyone to kiss your foot tattoo.
Why can I remember how tall Nicki Minaj is from looking up her height once months ago, yet after weeks into the semester I can't even remember where any my classrooms are located
Importance
He took a shit in my shoe. A part of me is livid and a part of me is impressed because that’s some real evil genius.
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