Some girl just asked us for directions back to campus. we told her to take the first four lefts. We live on a block. she believed us
Miserable. My projectile vomit just woke me up from a 5.5 hour nap.
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
Ok I have to ask, whose idea was it to used crushed up norcos as margarita salt? And what did they say to convince everybody else to think it was a good idea?
You went full blown lifeguard... You wouldn't let me sleep until I was in the safety position, so I wouldn't die in my sleep...
stalking the twitter feeds of girls who have fucked my current fuck buddy makes me glad we use condoms
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
I finally had to say "that's the hole where I pee" for him to understand.
If he cant deal with my insomnia and sex drive I really feel sorry for his child and ex fiance. Adulthood breakups are depressing.
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
Just showed my drunk fiancé where I got circumcised, she's been crying for twenty minutes.
I woke up with her finger in my vag. Let's just say that I'm one horny inquisitive drunk.
Girl you're stalking so hard you're gonna know both their social security numbers soon
Randomize
