actually, I'm a sock model
Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
so that guy from last night texted me saying i flashed half of my extended family last night. so classy.
You were too busy being proud of your penis shaped pancakes to notice...
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
no more duck duck goose at the bar
I answered the door to some Jehovah Witnesses hungover and wearing nothing but a white tshirt. I think they made it the church goal to reform me, we've gotten four pamphlets. My mom's going to make me convert if they keep coming.
no one is here. wer drinking in the beer garden in the dark and we stole a bucket of blue paint off the sidewalk. now her legs are blue.
You know when you can feel the alcohol in your toes? That's a great feeling.
Just checked my voicemails on the work phone on speaker. Thank you so much for the one of you screaming "COME FUCK ME NOWWWW!" my boss loved it ..
They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed.
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
So last night was the first of "I got cut off before I walked in the bar".
Imp drunk. It'd free popcorn tuedday I love life.
Randomize
