I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
I'm going to take the bottles back.. And maybe get an x-ray
some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
Cant decide who was more of a mess the morning after... me when i passed out in the bathroom stall or you when you sprayed yourself down with hairspray thinking it was sunblock
You were rubbing your foot on one of your legs and kept saying, "My sock feels like a waterslide!"
what if his mom answers? its like high school, but hes 30
Can you send me the video of that girl that got arrested last night? I'm gonna try and hit that and I need something to break the ice with.
They found a chair, duct taped me to it, then gave me a bottle of vodka to 'make me feel at home'
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
You threw an open can of pop at me while I was lying on the floor babbling and drooling about how I need to be alone forever, me and my leaking face.
I'm laying in bed with a case of beer,.. That's how this break up is going..
It's the building I live in, they were lucky I was wearing clothes at all
I have an epic ass bruise from a wheel tonight and I am drunk now because I decided vodka heals all wounds.
He said he remembers me...standing on a snowy roof, smoking a blunt, yelling "you're pretty fly for a white guy" at him. Sounds about right.
can jess come too?
sure! but I don't have enough booze for the both of you.
she comes with her own booze, no worries.
Randomize
