My vagina smells like strawberry tangerine twist.
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
You kept buying everyone Washington apple shots, and telling us we needed to support local produce.
Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
I don't know what's worse....that fact that my dog ate my vibrator or that he later puked it up on my bed
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
So last night ended up making out with a girl going to jail on sunday...she wrote down her address so I can make conjugal visits...
I just realized my new apartment is at the corner of Patrick Henry and Mary Jane.
Give me weed or give me death?
Wanna shave the hair on my back? If you're offended I was joking, if not I'll bring booze and maybe you can do other regions too.
Did you know that pizza hut has a wedding proposal box? And sorry for being kinda drunk yesterday when you got here
They ran out of toilet paper so I used the rug to wipe my vagina
Also, I had mind-blowing sex on a pool table
She's better-looking with the mask on.
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