O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
Just got cockblocked by coyotes. This would happen to me.
For once I'd like to have a Taco Sunday without having some random drunk chick flee my house half naked and in tears.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
I think they can follow the trail of blood to my house if they have a problem with me taking a dip in their hot tub last night b4 stepping on a broken bottle
ROOF CAVED IN, WE'RE GUNNA MAKE A WATERSLIDE
I passed out with my wizard stick taped to my hands and got woken up being poked with a St. Bernard
Just bartered a McD's cheeseburger and fries for two pitchers. Oregon Trail ain't got shit on me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Okay who let me pass out in a recliner cuddling a pitbull and a cardboard cutout of Orlando Bloom
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
There's nothing more rewarding than telling you that I fucked your dad
Does sending her to the conference instead of a competent employee and putting her in a suite make up for banging her husband behind her back?
No, but she’ll have a nice memory when she gets dumped and fired on the same day.
He's so drunk that he's ignoring me and just doing what my cat does.
Oh god he's trying to eat cat food... I don't know if I should stop him or continue laughing....
It's like the perfect sandwich, once you find it you want to ensure your future access to it.
Randomize