So how come you never look me in the eyes anymore when we make love?
but really, i care about skinny girls as much as michael vick cares about rotweilers
Nothing says I have a hang over like telling your boss to "eat your shit"
I'm buying you potatoes, the least you could do is not ask any fucking questions and just say thank you.
I hate that he uses me for something other than sex. What does he think I am? His girlfriend? Ha.
These shoes are way too nice for a walk of shame. Its how I keep myself in line.
This just spotted: a bagpiping Elmo on the street.
Called the cops on a high school party then went in after all the kids ran away and took the rest of the beer. What are you doing tonight?
Claiming territory at this party means signing a girls ass...I've got dibs on a blonde
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
For a second I thought he was going to give me an intervention
You can't give interventions in a bar!
in the past 2 days I've ruined2-3 lives, made 2 men quit the bar, started a Wednesdays only affair, ended it, ruined that engagement and had my tires slashed by a jealous bouncer. please stop letting me out....
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