Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
Only if you bring Listerine. I can't come home to my husband from a bachelorette party with spermbreath again.
Yeah apparently i got lonely because everyone was hooking up so i took matters into my own hands. I woke up on the floor spooning a vaccuum cleaner, a mop, 40 paper cups, and industrial grade detergent.
We don't have a ruler. Come downstairs and lay in the snow with a boner so we can see how much snow we've gotten. Put your 8 inches to a less shameful use.
He cut part of his finger off. It was a consolation blow job.
well I have to shit but I'm too hungover to push, and I snorted advil so I wouldn't have to swallow it and throw up.. hungover is an understatement.
I hope Team Snapchat has been enjoying our sex snaps all this week.
I love the barter system - he got laid and I got him to bring me some ibuprofen. A win-win really.
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
Is it weird that the girl I'm fucking just wished me luck on my date tonight?
My dog and I just went outside to pee together.
u would mumble something and then get unnecessarily loud and say random shit like 'id fuck the shit out of taylor hanson right now'
You where banging on the wall asking us where we hid the door...you then crawled under the deck thinking you'd be safe. I told you to eat the nachos before the party...I told you.....
Randomize
