im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
We were sexting and at the end, instead of us having sex, he decided to put "we fell asleep in each others arms."
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
I woke up and someone had put toast at my feet. I was SO. HAPPY.
You asked me to pick a color between pink and purple, and I said orange; you told me, "okay, that's a truth question". Then you asked if I had ever deep-throated a cupcake...I didn't even know what to say.
On Friday, can we drink like its Civil Wars times and the doctor's coming to saw off our gangreen infected legs?
I just tried to order ice cream on my bagel. I think I should just call it
my ex's current girlfriend held my hair as I threw up. new low.
I just called my boyfriend "Dad"... Awkward
I'm so high right now that I'm wearing gloves.
I just saw a girl drinking wine and walking her dog in footie pajamas and a mad hatter hat. First day of the new year and I think I'm in love.
I feel like you should put up a missed connections ad for this..
Random question, what's John-that-we-had-a-threesome-with's phone number? Don't necessarily need the full number, maybe just area code? Think I drunkenly ran into him last night and now I have texts from a John.
Did I see you at the bar last night?
Yes. You just kept grabbing my boobs and saying how much better they are than yours...
Randomize
