Facebook really needs to add a bikini picture profile tab for girls, it would really save me countless amounts of time!
The cops found weed in michael jacksons house today...it makes up for the child molesting, I like him more now.
See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
how did we ever eat at restaurants where they DIDNT squirt-gun tequila in our mouths?
She took off her pants and it was like seeing an old friend.
We're listening to the crystal method and doing bong hits for jesus
How are you texting me from 1998?
It was honestly like finding a clitoris in a haystack.
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
Those drunk pictures you took of me? My mom is showing those to my grandparents.
Had a turkey baster with clean pee in it in my pants to pass a drug test, and the bottom fell off, so yeah I'm pretty pissed.
I take pride in being a married 31 year old who sleeps on her best friend's bathroom floor from time to time.
this is definitely the first time I've ever had an orgasm and then had potatoes smeared on me within the same hour
I'm slowly starting to accept that you have to be a sociopath to be attracted to me
Oral sex and brunch. The perfect sunday morning.
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