I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
Just found my toeprints on the glass of his sunroof.
we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
He says he quit drinking. I'd like to have a moment of silence for losing the best drunken hookup ever. We will build a memorial to his awesome cock.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm slightly possesive over the gucamole when i'm stoned.
Is that why you left peanut shells in my bed?
my revenge plans when i'm high are never as good as i think they are
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
FYI...Jose likes Shamrock shakes better than Jack
I like that we've become good enough friends again that I can make fun of your penis without it being awkward
Who replies to a drunk text at 6am that's like against the rules of being a designated drunk text receiver
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, I lost my shirt, and my doorknob is gone. I'm not sure which I should find first
We were in his kitchen and she turned to me with a straight face and an avocado in her hand and said "Can we steal this?"
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
sidebar: i fucked your brother last night
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
Beer. Pizza. Seething Rage. I will be full of two of these things tonight. You get to decide which two.
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