KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
You tried to convince her that if she gave you head she'd hear the ocean.....
im just going to superglue mistletoe to my forehead and see what happens
I want to meet new people and vomit on their things instead\n
Oh god, so much rum. I think I was in a shotgun wedding with a Bacardi promotion girl.
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
It turns out my English teacher used to pose for Playboy. She's an inspiration.
You're seeing with your vagina, not your eyes.
Omg the world wants us to be better people
I refuse
Have you ever looked at someone and thought…oh honey, you're too pretty for an ankle monitor
I feel like my toilet water looks different when outsiders use my bathroom...
Are you high right now?
HOW DID YOU KNOW!
Just ordered a pregnancy test off amazon. Fuck 2019
I got drunk off three vodka cranberry’s and told him to “WWE raw dog me.” Fucking kill me.
"I'm 22, I could die in a piano bar." -a sentence i actually just said to my boss
Randomize
