No, I'm only going to drink half my paycheck. That's the responsible thing to do.
I'm okay.. I had a good heart to heart with the cab driver Raheem - it's going to be our year.
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
Couldn't find any balloons, so we're doing whippets out of condoms. Being a ho has its benefits.
There is a bottle of ciroc waiting graciously on my breakfast table. It's almost a sign for me to live up to my Russian blood.
I am sitting here. Drinking from a bottle of vodka. Eating shredded cheese from a bag and waiting on him to pick me up after he finishes with his girlfriend. This is what dreams are made of.
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
She said she'll drive over, bang, and then head home. It's like ordering a pizza.
Alive.
So much puke
I feel as if the hash cupcakes on top of mushroom chocolates was a little excessive last night
It's cosmic balancing. My vagina is an instrument of karmic retribution.
He called from a stranger phone to say. He was a t a liquior store and there was a long line they have no condoms. This is the guy i was gonna go on a date with
Atleast he is letting you know he will be late
he called me 'mate' and i had to remind him that you dont call people mate who continously make your dick hard
Some girls wake up to good morning texts. I wake up to pictures of an angry Shrek getting a blowjob.
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
Randomize
