THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
I just found a 1/2 inch of mimosa in my shoe.
You should get more absorbent shoes.
I'm pretty sure if an eight year old calls you a whore.. it's true. just saying.
She started acting like she was actually a deaf person...so I went along with it and acted like her interpreter. I don't think anyone bought it.
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
He asked me where I wanted it. I told him in the condom. He stops mid thrust and says "you're no fun" and then blew. Chivalry is semi dead.
It's like god touched my soul and said 'you will be great in bed'
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
the only things my left hand does: catch/hold things and masturbation.
I just want a relatively mentally stable guy with tattoos and facial hair that loves Captain America as much as I do and will fuck me the way I deserve to be fucked, is that too much to ask for?
In the event that Ian's ex wife asks you, tell her I'm sweet snd innocent. No reason.
hey if my parents say thanks for the meatballs just go with it ill explain later
PSA. Do not shart while wearing a jock strap at work. That is all.
Randomize
