Went to bed at 4 in a strangers bed. woke up wearing scrubs, realized i was gonna be late for work so i just wore the same clothes as the day before... i don't have a toothbrush and im pretty sure there is leftover semen in my mouth. at some point i think i was at the beach cuz theres is sand in my underwear. i love newport already.
All the good ones are taken. All that's left is the Harry Potter geek or the asshole in the corner. I think I'll settle for Harry Potter.
I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
You are the worst substitute drug dealer ever
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
I'm not about to serve this country to fuckin not have rum and cheezits for breakfast
During your work shift I was either: a) stoned. b) high. c)stoned. or d) high.
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
I had my first "Damn Kids/When I Was That Age" rant at work today. We need to drink this feeling out of me. NOW.
Who loses their virginity to fucking Flo Rida
This makes me appreciate being single with no prospects.
Fuck him and his perfect arms, huge penis and relentless ability to ignore me.
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