Um, I don't know who U MEANT to send that to, but yes I WAS going to fuck you. Instead you can go play Halo with ur friends.
all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
im downtown. alone. lost. drunk. dressed as santa. dont find me. i just heard someone say mechanical bull.
Your resume just got faxed, I also modified it a bit and sent it to strip clubs...expect weird phone calls...
I'm the only person who goes to break up a friends with benefits and comes out with a boyfriend
Eat your greens and take your tequila shots
About to go make a man out of a 24 year old boy
As I shove my ninth taquito of the day into my mouth...
Picking our battles
A+ Viking dick
I'm texting you know although you won't get this until you wake up. the only reason you are strapped to your bed is because you were trying to fly out your window.
Do you know how hard it is to have sex on an air matress while there are people sleeping in the same room?!?!?
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
There are only a few things more freaky than wandering around a zoo drunk.
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
Randomize
