I just woke up in my car with half the wedding cake next to me. This will not end well.
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
You lit a fire in my vagina no man can extinguish.
I'm at the point where I'm more upset that he got to keep my bottle of Fireball than that he stopped talking to me with no explanation
don't worry about my dad. he just hates you because you're liberal, not because we're fucking.
Mom and dad should be so proud half of their children have gotten naked in the same local grocery store
dude, i just found out morgan freeman loves weed. all my moms arguments are now irrelevant
Wait, but now I'm curious. In what position were y'all when the cops came? Were you guys butt ass naked in the car? 😂😂
Ripping out my IUD in Dave and busters bathroom
I told him I want him to read me my Miranda rights while he's fucking me. Act exactly like he does while he's on duty except with his dick out.
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
it was awkward when he was taking off my clothes and i had to help him undo my fanny pack
That guy u hooked me up with kept calling me james while were doing it...
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