Moving to Utah. Got sick of alcohol and have a severe wife shortage.
I'm constantly one strobe light away from an E flashback
i walked in the apt and she was vacuuming. i asked why and she said so we could have sex on the floor. i love clean freaks.
We gave a starfish gin and Lucky Charms. I think it enjoyed it. Best trip to the beach ever.
I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
the $20 limit for secret santa doesn't apply to me cause you know a half gram of coke is more than $20
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
I'd say you were a shitshow. Playing floating beer pong in the pool you kept filling other people's cups with pool water and laughing to yourself.
He wore nothing but a Speedo and a tie to the party. It was great. Everyone was looking at him like "this kid's the best"
Just scratched my head and I basically rained glitter.
WTF was I supposed to tell them? "hi mom and dad, this is some rando I met on the internet. please ignore the noises that will be coming from my bedroom for the next 60-90 minutes. kthxbye."
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
Do not let Mike show you his naughty Santa Claus outfit. It's a super long beard and crotchless pants.
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