I'll buy you a vibrator, we can get married for tax benefits, and live happily ever after with lots of doggggs.
VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
Did you draw a mustache on my drivers license picture??
and when i screamed you came in my eye, i found out that everyone else in the room had only pretneded to be sleeping
so i woke up this morning covered in mail. none of it is mine.
It's my fault there's ramen coiled around his penis.
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
I just saw the list where the U.S. doesn't even rank in the top 10 in drinking countries. I know its Tuesday but....its for America
So on how many levels of wrong is it that I'm reconsidering my divorce simply because I don't want to go through getting used to shitting around someone again.
If you sleep with another manager before the year is up you'll deserve an accomplishment sticker.
If my birthday doesn't end with my panties hanging from a ceiling fan, I'm holding you responsible.
my mom tells me this morning that i was blasting teach me how to dougie at 2 am last night and refused to leave her room until she dougied with me
Third time this week I've caught co workers dry humping. Quarantine really changes people's priorities.
Randomize
