gave myself the "you're a really good girlfriend" talk on the way to where i intentionally cheated on him. i am my own drunken therapist.
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
If you spent as much time trying to get laid as you do masturbating you would surpass all of us.
My office already closed tomorrow. I'm bout to get drunk and build a muh fuckin fort. I shall call it "Fort Fuck You, Sandy, You Fuckin Bitch"
So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
I just threw in a dip with a guy that superglued his fake tooth back in today. My life is complete.
we found him passed out on the baseball field with two 40oz and wearing a tophat.
Where did he get the tophat?
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
I WANT PIZZA BUT I ALSO WANT SELF ESTEEM
BUT LIKE WHO AM I TO EVER CARE ABOUT SELF ESTEEM
This is the third time my roommate and I have drunkenly hooked up. I'm starting to think she's not as straight as she says she is.
I'm not real sure what dinosaurs sound like, but dude, she made dinosaur noises.
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
I know, dude. If he ends up having a tiny dick, I will literally pack it back into his pants and leave. Not worth the aggravation.
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
He howled at the moon then told me that if i were a dog he'd have sex with me...either i look like that girl or i need to stop going on blind dates. Period.
Randomize
