The gym has a pool
my gym membership just went from "way to get in shape" to "place to go swim when I'm high"
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
I had a dream she was puking on me, but sadly in real life she was puking on me too
Naked Twister starts at high noon
That gas station is used for only two things, picking up moonshine and getting murdered. Only two outcomes.
Besides. I don't even really like sex because it feels great. I like it because for thirty minutes I own that guys ass.
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
One day we'll be rich enough to go to rehab. Until then, fuck it.
Have you ever just sat there and thought about past penises?
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
HE LITERALLY JUST PEED IN MY ROOM IDK WHAT TO DO HELP
Hahaha perfect. Let's start stopping drinking tomorrow
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
I'm waiting for your stupid pizza and this 400 lb drunk man is behind me singing the acapella version of Elevation by U2
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
Randomize
