do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
Also, i'm pretty sure i've had my birth control pill stuck in my throat since like...two pm. So i'll be practicing safe oral sex tonight.
what happened last night?
u kept telling him to fuck u optimus prime style
that explains why his roommate kept saying autobots roll out this morning as i left
we need to drink 2009 down the drain
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
I'm drunk off vodka and I haven't eaten today. I've never felt more like Kirsten Cohen in my life.
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
Love these next 4 months. Wake up from a college football hangover and get to put your hand down your pants and watch NFL football all day.
I don't think it's food poisoning, I think it's cause you cooked it over burning styrofoam
my bed is a shrine, and I am its goddess.
I'm eating shredded cheese and chugging coke, until I can function again. I'm tingling everywhere
Also at one point I told him to say my name and it took him like 5 seconds to remember.
We had sex while watching the republican debate. I'm not sure how he maintained an erection watching Donald Trump speak.
There are peanut butter donuts now. We are playing with forces we can't possibly understand.
Turns out I tore my ACL when I fell off the mechanical bull.. Happy bday to me
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