But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
i wish i could just chop off my fat with a knife..i would rather endure that than work out
just took a pee in my own yard...decided i had to poo..only got a dingle berry....wiped it away with my finger..help me...my mom AND dad are home.
Maury Povich's contact info is in our database at work...i should steal it right?
Do you remember calling me and dedicating a shot to me?
Crying in the liquor store is not a good look
It's like I opened a door and behind it lay mythical creatures sprinklin fairy dust upon the land leading me to a pot of gold. And that gold is some delicious cock.
he told me i smelled like babies and pine needles and he wanted to bathe with me. new boyfriend is not a keeper
Dude I really need to stop drinking. I chugged a whole bottle of ketchup last night.
Is this like a "I'm taking you out to dinner and treating you with respect" kind of date, or is this a "I'm gonna fill you with alcohol and cheese and stuff my dick in your anus" kind of date?
My drug dealer just made me weigh out my own weed because he was in the middle of taking his law enforcement final
I need to stop acting like a porn star that isn't getting paid
Like seriously how stupid drunk do you have to get befor you start finding dolphin lighters and shit in your undergarments
All I remember is your girlfriend laying on the bathroom floor and me crawling in and asking if it was okay to puke.
Randomize
