I forgot how ruthlessly advertising works on me when I'm high.
i just woke up to seventeen texts from you saying all the things you would have done for a french fry.
so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
He just washed his hands with scrubbing bubbles yelling "They work hard so I don't have to!"
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
So Ryan had to wash the dishes. His solution: take a shower with them. I'm never eating at his house again.
I think I'm drunk. That wine was old. I found it behind the water heater next to the mouse poison.
I can't feel my brain.
I wasn't sure how he was going to followup "so,i shot myself.." i guess "w a nail gun" is the best choice out of what I expected
I love you like a cupcake loves an overweight child, very similar to the mannerisms of a whole cake but personal, and minus the commitment issues, plus just the right amount of icing; not to mention the convenience of mobility, and only a smidgen of the guilt😘
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
I just found out that I slept with Kate Gosselin's publicist back in June . Brb I have to wash myself endlessly.
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
I can't blame him for thinking that then, placing a cone shaped potato chip on the tip of his penis post bj is not a normal act of love
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
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