That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
I just farted in the dogs face to show him who's boss
he left me a 6 minute video of him peeling a clementine listening to justin bieber
Bubblewrap condoms. We can steal Ziplock's new slogan. Protection you can hear.
I am at 2.05 miles in under 11 minutes. So either this thing is broke or I should always work out wasted.
If you ever get the opportunity, make fun of how small his dick is for me
Just remembered I hit myself in the face with a bottle then did the nose test and decided I was still good. Don't think anyone noticed.
It hurts to peel the glue off my chest and i keep finding glitter in my hair.
I just wanted to decorate you...
Sometimes crazy just comes naturally. I don't need booze to say that on occasion I feel the need to rip off my asshole and throw it against the fridge to see if it sticks.
His exact words were "Can I meet your vagina?" I kept wondering if he was going to try to shake hands with it...
I'm disproportionately drunk. But I also spelled disproportionately right twice so maybe I'm not that drunk
Getting high with your mom, but thinking of you!
If there's someone that knows accidental pantlessness, it's Mike.
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
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