Michael Jackson had a heart attack when he found out boyz to men was a music group not a delivery service.
why weren't you at the audition last night?
booty call before role call
he told me he saved a turtle in the middle of the road.. i told him id be over in ten minutes...i mean he deserves a bj after that.
just weighed my balls on my pocket scale. that high.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I asked my mom if I was the drunkest one in the room. With 8 days till I go back to school, I couldn't care less about being shitfaced at a baptism
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
I woke him up this morning and said I have a meeting w my advisor in an hour you need to wake up, cum on my face, and take me to my car.
He appeared on my 7th floor fire escape and sang to me and jimmy through the window when we fucked. He's like a drunken mix of Sinatra and Spiderman.
He told her hed rather go bobbing for apples in puke than have sex with her.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah. Well last night I sold my shoes to a man who I'm pretty sure has a weird foot fetish for $150 cash.
I just got my beard fondled by a drunk chick outside the venue. I feel slightly violated. And I think her boyfriend wanted to fight me.
Halloween: the only night of the year wheee the more high I get, the more it compliments my makeup and outfit.
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings
Who the abstract fuck do you think you are!?
That's the 3rd negative pregnancy test this month. I'm on a roll.
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