you kept yelling 'bird cage' in between songs and finally the lead singer stopped to ask if you meant 'free bird' and you said 'fuck you, i'm not gay', needless to say you were kindly escorted out
i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
just took my birth control pill with a shamrock shake. happy st. patrick's day
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
i woke up completely naked except for a bottle of beer saran wrapped in between my boobs
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
I'm trying to poop and took acid, this is going to end horrid or wonderful. Oh the amusement park, not the pooping.
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
Hey, scratch that. I've shit 8 times today. I don't have the energy to get laid so I cancelled my date.
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
if becoming an adult is chugging a bottle of wine in your bed and crying about your stresses while your dog watches you, sign me up
Hungover. No words. Just memes.
Afterwards I drank a whole bottle of cake vodka in the bathtub while he was bawling his eyes out. Hands down weirdest hookup I've ever had.
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
When you puked on me I said to you "we will just say that you threw some mostacholi at me"
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