is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
Just waterfalled in the movie theatre... this is the beginning to a good night
He offered to take me out to a nice dinner but I told him I would rather he just pay for my beer this weekend
After you took the handle off the bathroom door I had to coach the Scottish guy sitting on the toilet, throwing up in his own lap, how to put his pants back on. Yes, I think he won the drinking game.
And it was confirmed to me that I did in fact cut my girlfriend out of her dress with my sword.
you came home soaking wet, and when I asked where your umbrella was, you pulled it out of your bag and were so proud you kept it dry.
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
I told him if he wanted to lose weight he had to learn self control. Less than ten minutes after that I ate a cookie off the floor...
Lets get coked out and steal a parrot this summer
Are you alive?
I woke up under the pier.
Never have i felt more judged than when i was throwing up in front of a hello kitty shower curtain at 5 in the morn
My lunch = taste testing salsas for A&P. They gave me a free 64oz grape juice as a thank you. So, now we have something to drink in the house. So while you are spending all the money on breakfast rolls and pizza for lunch, I'm cigaretteless and whoring myself for tablespoons of salsa and free juice.
Carver called his mom a milf again
Was it on purpose this time?
I think I was judged by a squirrel this morning during the walk...
What did you do with the dog when you went into the club?
coat checked
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