We have had massive layoffs this year, yet the guy who cant flush his shit seems to still have a job
Last night I went to an anything but cups party. I took a hummingbird feeder. It was a terrible decision.
i'm drinking with a bunch of phds, i feel very stupid but good about my drinking abilities
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
I don't know, but I don't want you to think its ok to show up at my house at 4 am with a gorilla suit and a bucket of pinnapple and think id be ok with it
You just want to fuck a girl in a dinosaur costume, don't you?
If I don't at least start a parade that spirals into drunken riots then I'm calling it a fail of a birthday
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
Let's fuck under the stars. And by under the stars I mean in my bed underneath my glow in the dark star stickers.
Between having seen you naked and interpreting your values based on the occasional political FB post, you're no stranger for sure.
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
I'm about to make existential crisis tacos.
I used the phrase "love child of quasimodo and cyclops " in a sentence today.
Bear grylls would be proud of my improvisation. Just used her vibrator to massage my back after hurting it at work.
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
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