There's this guy beside me dancing with this girl with no panties on. When I looked at him he said he's babysitting his bestfriend's girlfriend since he can't come out.
What a good friend
someone owes me an orgasm
I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
Your ass just called me, someone was yelling "awful waffle" and also, " I don't know who's hands are who's anymore"
There is too much vodka and too much dick.
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
I stumbled in at 6am to find my cat in the window making a noise I've never heard her make. When I went to the window there was a goat outside staring at us.
Are you sure? Or did you just think there was a goat?
No there was a goat. I gave it a donut.
If you're knocked up, we're telling everyone it's mine and that the power of our love overcame the inherent reproductive limitations of two vhagines.
So neither of us had a dollar bill and we couldnt find a straw so we spent all nite doing coke through penne pasta
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
Hahahahahha. You saved a homeless man. You're actually the mother Teresa of skanks.
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
Lesson Learned: It's not a party until someone pisses their pants.
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
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