I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
i woke up at 5 am and found myself wrapped in christmas lights that were plugged into the wall.
Bring the cards this coming weekend. If I'm not here I died skydiving Friday
i preemptively threaten to cock slap your kids if they are snobby yuppy bitches
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
only thing in my fruit bowl is 4 champagne corks and a jenga piece . Tuesday.
I'm drinking with a guy who is a bigger asshole than me. We started a contest.
Sorry I couldn't make it...got a scrambled voicemail, all I heard was "Bring the dildo"
I yelled kanye while he was fucking me. It just felt right
i wore a power symbol belly button ring just so i can drunkenly tell him that he turns me on. i dont care if it works i think its classy
I'm ordering sushi and crying over finals. Come over and bring wine.
Bought a gym bag tonight. Used it to bring my Taco Bell in the house.
I think he's trying to finish jacking off before throwing up again
Why did I wake up naked with a leg cramp and and extra $550 in my wallet?
Randomize
