Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
If I were trying to take advantage of you I would have maxed out all your credit cards by now.
He had one of those small greek statue penises
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
last night we were having sex and i didn't care if i got off. i was just holding up my hand behind his head so i could look at my new ring. i think he knew.
You fell asleep leaning on my shoulder at the bar
He called his prostate his "boner button".
You haven't lived until you've watched a retriever try to bring back the condom you just threw in its master's garbage
You should come by for the fire station blow job tour
I swear to god if I see a single piece of genitalia I'm driving back to LI and smacking you back to the Italian Renaissance
We're at the liquor store. Then going to the hospital
I snuck out of his room and his roommate stopped me to tell me there was a condom stuck to my back
I know it sounds cheesy, but i think both me and her mum know they are "thanks for being so cool about finding nudes of your daughter on the camera" flowers
In other news, I’ve officially fucked a grandpa.
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