I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
The crowing achievement of my life is still the time I made a 3 course meal out of things I found in the dumpster.
went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
as nice as a boyfriend sounds, a relationship would require morals and self-restraint - both fields in which i lack.
momma always taught us never to change for a boy..
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
Ripped lines in the bathroom before my presentation.. Got bonus marks for my enthusiasm.. This is why I love drugs
I can't believe I've come to a point in my life where sex for a birthday present is acceptable
You said that you were drinking out of a pan, and then went on to apologise to 'Jesus and all the other guys' for drinking on a Sunday.
I have the perfect view of a sexy blonde in yoga pants stretching from the shoulder press machine. I'll be here all night. So glad I came high.
Ur here with me in spirit. Now run free. Run free
For the record, just because I'm a mess doesn't mean I don't know what I'm talking about when I give you advice. I'm way better at other people's lives.
Totally had a conversation drunk last night with a bisexual chick at my apartment in Spanglish too.
You're a hero.
I got stoned and explored ice caves with a guy who photographs dildos for a living. I win.
Rob and I are cross faded and the only one taking care of us is a drunk person who's making us dance.
Dude!! Who the fuck glued Cheetos to my couch? Bastards!!
I just found glitter glue on my jesus bracelet...am I really that gay?
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