I wish i could sleep and get drunk at the same time...those are my 2 biggest needs right now
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
Just finished texting the 27th male name in my phone that i don't recognize. none of them were the hott kid i made out with last night. the search continues.
She's a squirter....that makes up for lots of other annoying things
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
You guys can't keep having sex with them and cleaning their house! They're never going to take you seriously!
About to go out with the girl of my dreams tonight. I am looking at one of her hottest fb pics, to practice not looking at her huge tits.
I flashed a party boat full of Asians yesterday, didn't I?
I sang "A Whole New World" while I took his virginity
That is awesome that you did that.
On one hand it was kinda weird his girlfriends stuff was at his apartment. On the other hand it was kinda nice because she had great shampoo
Also, making a white Russian with butterscotch schnapps instead of vodka is probably the best decision I've made in my entire college career.
I just realized that with the new snapchat update / emoji sticker thing I can now use easily use emojis to cover my boobs in nudes.
The dick lei will go down in squad history
So after we found out he wasnt throwing up blood in was just hawaiian punch and we all failed breathalyzers the cop drove us around like a taxi and brought us back to the apartment
Randomize
