I just realized I'm gonna get paid at midnight on New Years Eve. That could be dangerous.
Today should be called shooting fish in a barrel day. Every place ive gone to ive met a girl who regrets not hooking up last night. There have not been girls this easy since Fathers Day
what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
Got kicked out of the baseball game with a 4 officer escort. Not bad for a monday night.
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
Be careful. Don't drive if your body turns into a caterpillar again.
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
Was that your vagina? Received a text pic from a number I didn't recognize. Shaved, so no hair color cues. But it looked like your lips.
When you're looking for your panties tomorrow, you traded them for a blunt on the train.
Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.
I feel violated by Miley Cirrus's performance in the VMA's.
It was get out of line and go pee and get no beef briskit. Or stay in line, pee my pants, but have beef briskit. I really wanted my beef briskit
She really wants to hug you. With her vagina.
Randomize
