Yeah, but I'm out of licorice and there's no way anywhere near here will rent us all mopeds on a Tuesday night.
well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
I wouldn't really call it 'getting lucky' considering I paid her to do it.
Thats the worst face I've ever seen you make an I've seen you throw up in your own hair.
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If you see my mugshot on the news tomorrow, its not what you think
We didn't talk. I watched you drop an egg on the floor. And watched you praise your haunted broom.
I imagine I kinda look like a banana with one boob out.
you're right. i am beautiful. like a May day. frolicking in a meadow of wildflowers. platinum in one hand. pipe in the other. that kind of beautiful.
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
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Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
Haha no we did it on his bed. Then rolled off into the bean bag. It was a strangely athletic performance on my behalf.
Apparently I give handjobs in my sleep. So that's interesting.
How do you get kicked out of 3 different Subways in one night..
Not very gracefully, that's how.
I wonder how many people saw me whip my junk out and bang it on the light post in front of holabird bar and liquors last night. I'm about tired of having to do that.
Nobody saw you except the people in the bar, because you weren't outside. You were inside, and you were smacking it on the mens bathroom door handle
I really hate whoever invented fireball.
Don't do it. He's got a dick the size of a baseball bat. You don't want that commitment.
I have to. For the sake of science.