Dude, I was completely sober last night, didn't puke on my shoes, went home with an incredibly beautiful girl, wore a condom, and didn't wake up in a puddle of urine this morning.
hah, sarcasm, classic
he started yelling "this is my pussy" mid thrust
You smell like stripper and shame
this party is like a fast-foward into the future when im 40 and married with children
Just got kicked in the balls by a girl in tap shoes. Fuck EVERYTHING
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
I told him I'd have sex with him for fried cheese. Does that make me a hooker or just fat?
he tried to do a one handed cartwheel to showoff but knocked himself out cold. fuckin jagerbombs will kill that man.
Concert was great. Tackled the lead singer. Met him afterwards. He was cool about it.
We're already drunk. 4 hours to go still. And there's a bear advisory. TOP WEEKEND.
I'm gonna eat you out with that hat on so it looks like beaker's doing it. And I'm gonna go "memememememe"
I'm sitting outside your room listening for sex noises eating pepperoni...slowly
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
By the time we got to McDonald's you were sharing a Big Mac with a stripper.
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
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