TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
just served this dwarf dude an entire pitcher of malt liquor. watching this will totally be worth my bartender's certification.
I feel like none of my dresses scream slut the way I'd like them to
Please stop using the dehumidifier for your weed.
I know everyone screamed lady cop instead of cops. I wanted to apologize to her for our chauvinism
I just remembered I opened the taxi door when I was at a red light last night and puked. And then when I was done I closed the door and told him he may proceed with caution.
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
I've made a list of places I want to have sex this summer. #1: Reptile House at the zoo.
I had so much stripper lotion and body glitter on my glasses I had a hard time driving home.
I just ate cottage cheese and went to the gym at 6 this morning...the things i'll do because I might get naked in front of a new boy
just saw a kid get pissed on buy a tiger at the zoo. His dad is rofling and the kid is crying. I think I have to go make a new friend
I just got high and swiffered the bathroom floor....2 for 2 on brilliant life ideas
I am never drinking with the goths again.
This is a weird combination of planning and sexting but whatever
Randomize
